Gram

I like this photo of Gram for several reasons.

1) She is wearing the floppy tourist hat she bought from a street vendor in Egypt -- I think she paid way too much for it, but since it was about the only thing she bought for herself on the trip, she sure got her money's worth out of it.

2)  You can see a person on a cell phone in the background (I took this photo of Gram at the Karnak Cafe inside the grounds of the temple ruins on September 15, 2001).  Gram could not grasp the concept of cell phones.  Especially not in Egypt, where Sherri and our guards were constantly on their cell phones.  "Who are they talking to?"  She always wanted to know.  Good question, Gram -- who are all these people always talking to on their cell phones???

3) This photo also shows just how tired Gram looked -- and Karnak was our first stop on a very very busy day of sight-seeing.  She'd been up crying half the night because of worrying about Melissa (you, dear readers, know that Melissa was safe -- but at the time, four days after September 11th, Gram truly believed that Melissa had been at The World Trade Center when it collapsed -- and since our room at Crocodile Island had no TV so she could get her news-fix, she'd been pacing and crying all night).

4) She's gripping a Diet Coke in the cafe.  I think it's a telling commentary on our society (in the USA) that this 80 year old woman would only drink Diet Coke --- I tried and tried to get her to drink more water in Egypt.  (She would only drink water if there was no other beverage choice) I was afraid the dehydration would make her emerging dementia even worse.  I tried to get her to at least drink Coke instead of Diet --- oh no, she said, have to watch the figure.  She was programmed to think regular soda would put extra pounds on her like that -- personally, I think a little sugar boost might've done her some good now and then.  I grew to know that I had to pick my battles during this trip, and bickering over beverages was not gonna be the straw to break me.

If you're new to this adventure, I should tell you that my grandmother (aka Gram) and I were in Egypt during the 2 weeks after September 11th.  Our plane was landing in Cairo as the second plane struck the twin towers.  We weren't sure "when or if" we would be coming back to the USA.
During this trip, it became apparent to me how much Alzheimers had begun gripping Gram.  It was at Karnak that I first really snapped at her (I think I showed amazing restraint over the passport incident our first morning).  Gram was 80 when we went on this trip.  She'd been a world-traveler when my Grandfather had been alive (they even lived in Germany after WWII where he helped design/re-build bridges that had been bombed) -- and after his death, she'd gone on several cruises and tours to places all over the globe.  This trip to Egypt was her last vacation.  I don't think she ever fully re-gained all her cognitive skills after this trip.

Gram was a great lady.  During the 70's, 80's, and 90's she was a fashion plate.  She worked for the government, and had a good pension, plus a secret government "settlement" for my grandfather's death -- she never would talk about that.  So she lived well -- not rich, and never flaunted money, but she lived well.  She had a home full of antiques, many of them brought over from Europe, and she took impeccable care of herself -- a weekly manicure and hair appointment was a must.

I know this is a long post, but I don't want it to be a downer, so let me tell you some of the fun things about Gram.  When she found out I was gay, she took me to meet her hair-dresser.  He was a huge flamer.  I mean, the wall-paper in the salon was gold mylar zebra stripes, and all the fixtures (matching sinks, chairs, and stations) were glitter-embedded fuchsia.  He would make Carson Kressley look butch.  But this was Gram's way of saying she was OK with me being gay -- her hairdresser was, after all.  The hairdresser and I (I think I was like 17 at the time and a big nerd -- see, some things never change!) had nothing in common, but Gram was 100% cool with me, and her love for me never wavered when I came out to her.
When I got my ear pierced in college, however, THAT was another story!!!  I'd actually had my ear pierced for over a year when she finally saw it --- and when she did, on our way to her car to go out to dinner, she chased me across the dorm parking lot, smacking me with her purse.  I guess I'm just lucky that by the late 80's she'd switched to a gold lame' purse -- for about 2 decades she'd carried a wicker Pappagallo's basket-purse -- now that would've hurt if she'd pummelled me with that!  While she was fine with me being gay, she was so not cool with me having my ear pierced.
And, of course, Gram took me to Egypt.  It was the best present anyone's ever given to me.  Made all that more memorable, of course, by what happened on September 11th.