Friday, September 26, 2008


We are all suckers for an attractive face.

The dopamine jolt brought about by the sight of a powerful chest, a strong chin and a cute nose on a symmetrical face is sometimes so powerful that it is
love at first sight and...temporary loss of sanity.

A decision to love based solely on looks is trouble.
Adrenaline is a traitor. Any emotional experience that pushes the sensory system can distort your perception.
The problem with this type of love is that you can not always trust your instincts.
And there is a price to pay for taking him home just because he is drop dead gorgeous.
But there was something about this guy.
There was something quite dignified about his arrogance that attracted me to him.
I was not even looking.
I was still reeling from a past hurt--so I definitely was not ready for him.
I knew nothing about him.
I did not know what experiences he may have had.
How he was raised,
who his parents were--nor how he got along with his siblings, if any.
I had no idea what he would be like in different times of the day
or whether he'd be cranky when tired or hungry.
Heck, it would have been nice if I had known beforehand that he snored.
So, it has only been while living with him, that I have gotten to know him.
It has been a rough 30 days to get to where we are today but the benefits of working hard on a relationship instead of giving up, far outweigh the sleepless nights, the pain and the tears.

I have found the following tips helpful in improving my relationship with him:
*Give attention to the positive--praise anything you want to see more of.
*Do not call his name just to reprimand him so that he does not associate your call with something unpleasant.
*During walks or disagreements, instead of pulling the opposite way--stop.
Wait for him to stop pulling. And then proceed. It works like magic.
*Stand your ground yet give him his space. Having a life of your own that includes him but does not revolve around him makes your relationship balanced and stress free. That you always come back builds trust.
*Make sure he gets plenty of stimulation and exercise.

Video of our rough relationship HERE.

Video of our present relationship HERE.

15 years later, I wonder if these tips are applicable to me and my husband Steve.
Happy Anniversary, Steve--I love you.