To The Lovely Couple, Whoever You Are

Hard to believe, but my baby brother (half-brother) is turning 30 this year. I don’t really know him. I was 17 when I left home and he was a mere babe in arms, literally. For many years, he lived in a garage apartment at my dad’s until he moved into his shared apartment with his fiancée. Until then, his mom cooked and did his laundry.

Last weekend, they got married. She’s a chiropractor. Sounds good? Her new practice is in rural Arkansas. I’d shoot myself. He’s not a city boy exactly, he’s a suburbs boy. You know, where you can get to a major league baseball game in under an hour. What’s he thinking? Oh, yeah, lurve.

They knew I wasn’t coming to the wedding. The place in Arkansas is not on a direct route to anywhere and it would have been too expensive.donkey3_1.jpg

They registered at Target. I viewed the Target items and most had been spoken for or required me to have a clue about their taste and current possessions, except the Playstation. There was no way I was going to secure a premature place for them on the judicial divorce calendar before the marriage had even started by buying them a Playstation. So, I decided upon a check. Can’t go wrong there, right?

I go out and buy a very beautiful card with a lovely sentiment for Cory and his lovely bride Kari. I glance at the invitation to make sure I spell the girl’s name properly. I write out the check in their married name—Cory & Kari. I craft a beautiful sentiment about married life in the card. I pop the card into the mail and pat myself on the back for not waiting until the first anniversary to get around to it.

So, I’m talking to my sister last night and she says, “I can’t believe it, but the thank you note already arrived from Becky.”

I’m thinking I missed something. “Becky who?” I said.

“Cory’s new wife, Becky.”

Uh, oh.

I wondered why Kari didn’t sound right as I wrote it out. But, I thought it must be her given name.

Then, I realized that I had pulled out the invitation for the other wedding I’ve got coming up. Wrong bride.

I spent time last night crafting a menopausal-centric apology to my new sister-in-law and mailed it off. I hope she has a good sense of humor. She’s going to need it in this family.